Finale

This will take me a bit to complete, and tonight will not be the night. My stepmom, Mary Douglas, passed over to the Summerlands on February 12th, at about 1.15 PM. This last few days has been a blur of activity, and my dad, my step sister and myself are only now finding time to really come to terms with all this.

We were all three there with her as she took her last breath, with step brother Dave on the phone with Sandy. I don't think there had been a "person" there for about 24 hours, but just the same.....

Immediately things changed direction and got stupidly busy. It is the time when we need to be with family and friends in a state of quiet, and even with all the best intentions from those who came from all corners of the country, it was not. Today, when the last flew or drove out of town, was the first time any of us had had to really be calm inside and let feelings seep thru.
I was surprised at how upset I got. It hadn't really sunk in yet I guess. Everytime someone leaves this world, the lives that person touched change for good. I have wondered of my relationship with Dave and Sandy, and their's with dad. My other sibs know them, but there is not the same kind of relationship by any means. Hell, I don't have the same connection with my blood family as I do with them. Dad is going to come out of this, though the hurt never goes away completely. So will I. Still, everything has changed. Maybe part of my mourning is for that. I am in no state of mind to figure that out tonight.

I have much to talk about still but I need some down time too. I've gone from waiting for a conclusion, to being overwhelmed by people, back to being alone. I think I just need a rest.

No matter what is written here, I do know this much- I miss my step mom.